I prefer to have sex with my toys because my uncle did things to me

That evening i was alone. i really wanted to have sex, i would have paid to have someone next door, but i didn't want to go out to a bar looking for everyone. so, i looked for my toys and let my imagination fly. when i was younger my uncle abused me. he did things to me that i didn't want to remember, he loved to touch me, he forced me to play with his cock, and suck it sometimes, or put it in my body. now i can't have sex with other men without remembering those times. so i prefer to masturbate and have sex alone, with my fingers or my toys.